It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
