I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
