"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
