and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
