He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
