please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
