End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
