Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
