i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
