Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
