Are we in a gay sports bar?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't deserve a penis
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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