let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
