i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
