She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
