Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
They took my balls.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
