my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
