did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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