i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
