I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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