are you so shy because you have an std?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
