Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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