I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
