I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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