I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Found the puke drawer
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
