I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
