By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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