his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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