You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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