I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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