I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
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