went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
