So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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