I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
