I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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