Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Enjoy the penises
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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