Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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