Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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