My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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