Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
