She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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