also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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