I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
