he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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