Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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