I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
