On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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