We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
