Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
