The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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