boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
