Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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