she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
